My daughter is now five and I decided it was time to request child support. Initially, we decided to determine the amount and payment dates on our own. To be honest, we’ve never had an issue, missed payment or anything of the like.
So why now? Why even bother going through the hassle and attorneys?
I thought long and hard about the whole thing and it came down to this, in the event he meets someone else and decides to start his new family, his obligations to my daughter may change. I need it in writing and legally binding that we both have recourse. I need to protect her interests more than anything else.
My experience with my Ex and money has been sketchy. During a time he wasn’t working, I was the bread winner – never complained. Once he started a new job, he would conveniently “forget” his wallet at home a lot. The biggest chip on my shoulder occurred when I was packing our things to move to our new place and I found a sneaker box with money. This was after he had given me an ultimatum to change or he wasn’t sure “how much more” of our relationship he could “stand.” After being confronted about the money, he said, it was for us. I never believed him.
After being confronted about the money, he said, it was for us. I never believed him.
With those moments in mind, I thought, it’s best I get my ducks in a row now. One of the things I struggle with the most is speaking up. This is one of the steps I’m taking to stand up for myself and by extension, my daughter. The Ex has shown me who he is. Like Maya, says, believe them. Why would his actions be any different as it relates to money. He loves money. If he’s able to practice his version of self-love, why can’t I?
Five years in and I’m going through the process. One thing is for sure, it’s nerve wracking. These are somethings to keep in mind when filing.
You can go at it without an attorney. Google Family Court for your location.
Have your finances in order as much as possible.
What You’ll Need
Completed tax returns from the last 2 previous years (including schedules)
W2 and 1099 Statements
Three most recent pay stubs
Any letters showing additional monies, bonus, etc.
A summary of your benefits
Remember, no one is going to take better care of you, than you.
#SCCGems You can ask to review your child support claim every three years.
New Jersey Child Support Claim Site/Application
NJ Quick Calculation Guide
WHY: "I need it in writing and legally binding that we both have recourse." Everything is a two-way street. Don’t go into situations thinking that you’re the only that can benefit from the process and outcome.
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